Dear Pastor’s Wife

Dear Pastor’s Wife,

October is Pastor’s Appreciation Month. I’m sure many of you have received cards and gifts as a token of thanks and appreciation for your faithful service to your congregation. But before the month comes to an end, I want to send a special message to you- the unsung heroes of ministry.

To you- the woman that toils alongside the man you love, but oftentimes gets overlooked and taken for granted because you aren’t the one in the pulpit every week.

If not for your support, your husband would not be able to fulfill the call of God on his life. You are his other half; the strength to his weakness and his biggest fan. You are his partner, his defender, his prayer warrior! You fill in the blanks, are the voice of reason and a soft place for his heart to land.

GOD SEES YOU!

He sees the countless hours you sacrifice for His people.

He sees when you put the needs of others before your own.

His heart rejoices when you cheerlead for your husband because he feels like he’s not good enough.

He notices when you are empty because you give so much, and He longs to fill you with His strength.

His heart is broken when you are hurt over not being able to meet someone’s unrealistic expectations.

He is with you on the days that you are lonely and frustrated, because your husband is putting out fires within the flock.

He sees you picking up the slack when your husband is overwhelmed.

He hears your cries when you don’t know what else to do.

He understands when you feel like you have nobody to pour your heart out to.

He is protecting your children while the enemy is seeking to destroy them.

He is your refuge when you feel like you’re just too tired to keep going, and He’s your strength on the days that you wish you could give up.

As a daughter of a pastor and now a pastor’s wife myself, I know all of the ups and downs. I saw it growing up and now I see it first hand.

Dear sister, one thing I know for sure is that your husband would not be the man he is without you by his side. You are a gift! Not only to your family but to those you serve, day in and day out.

I encourage you today to  remember who you ultimately serve, because He remembers you. He knows you intimately, and He loves you extravagantly. Precious pastor’s wife, be encouraged! You are seen, appreciated and loved. I am cheering you on!

 

Has The Culture Worn You Out?

“I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And that which I can do, by the grace of God, I will do.” D. L. Moody

Do you feel small and inadequate in the world we live in? I do. Are you overwhelmed by what is going on in the culture around us? I am. Do you sometimes ask yourself, “What’s the point?” I do.

I liken this feeling to sitting in a leaky boat with water coming in through various holes. You try to plug them, but you don’t have enough hands. You can’t plug holes and bail at the same time, so your efforts seem futile; you’re going to sink.

The state of our culture has many of us feverishly bailing. I feel like I’m fighting a losing battle sometimes.

There are so many causes to get involved in, so many injustices to fight. We can wear ourselves out standing for righteousness and truth.

I have to ask myself though, should we really be worn out? Saddened by the evil that is running rampant, yes. Weary from the onslaught of opposition to God’s Word and truth, of course! But worn out? No, I don’t think so.

I tried looking for a scripture this morning that encouraged us to be worn out. Would you be surprised if I told you that I didn’t find a single one?

When we hear or say the phrase “worn out,” it suggests tired, empty, weak—all things that occur when we are physically spending ourselves. We get to the point at which, to rephrase a common saying, we become so earthly minded that we are no heavenly good!

My friends, it is easy to take on the burden of this world. But all through Scripture Jesus tells us that His yoke is easy, His burden is light. We know that the battle is not an earthly one, but oftentimes it’s easier for us to try and fight verbally and physically, through social media posts and protests, than it is to fight on our knees, where the battle is truly fought and won.

I do believe we have to take a stand and engage the culture. We are called to be salt and light in this world. We are to be the voice of righteousness. But not in our own strength.

We should not be taking on our shoulders a burden that only God can carry. We can’t plug all the holes and bail at the same time.

Our hearts should be broken for lost souls who believe the lies of the enemy, and that should drive us to pray.

Pray for those who are in such darkness that they believe they are something other than what God created them to be. Pray for the evil hands that shed the innocent blood of the unborn. Pray for those in authority in our nation who are pushing agendas that fly directly in the face of the Lord. Pray for churches that are watering down the truth. Pray for those who have a platform and claim to know Christ but are compromising for money, book sales, and popularity.

The question we need to ponder is, what has God called each of us to do?

For me, He has called me to raise my children to be a blessing and a beacon to the next generation. He has called my family to be a remnant family, a kingdom family. He has called me to proclaim truth in a culture that is saturated with lies. He has also called me to trust Him with the issues that are out of my control—to rest in His peace and remind myself often that He has not and will never fall off His throne.

For those of you who, like me, have been struggling to bail the water out of the boat, stop wearing yourself out.

Second Samuel 22:33 reminds us that it is God who arms us with strength, and He makes our way perfect! Believer, “the Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still” (Exod. 14:14).

Get out of the boat and keep your eyes on Jesus, because He wins in the end.

Lord, help us to trust You in a culture that is so adamantly against You and those who stand for righteousness. Help us to take up only what You have called us to take up. Help us not to become weary in doing good but to rest and gather our strength for the battle from You. May we be broken for the world around us, seeing people as You see them. Amen.

New York – Honoring the Dead While Celebrating Murder

My heart broke a little today. For today, we as a nation took one more step onto the slippery slope away from decency and morality. On the anniversary of the Roe v Wade Supreme Court decision, as a sample of women from different races and ages gleefully looked on, the governor of New York, Andrew Cuomo signed into the law the most radical abortion legislation we have ever seen.

While my heart breaks for the millions of babies murdered every year, I am angered and disgusted by the fact that we have allowed this to happen in our nation. Women are high-fiving and celebrating; dancing, crying with joy at their newly received freedom. Our elected officials are proud to have passed such empowering legislation, and Andrew Cuomo is flaunting his accomplishments on social media like he is some kind of hero. No, Governor Cuomo you are not a hero; you are a wicked man. You have the blood of millions of innocents on your hands.

As I look at photos of One World Trade Center and the spire lit up pink in celebration of this decision, I find it ironic, that the building erected to honor the death of thousands, is now celebrating the murder of millions.

It is obvious that our culture is drifting further and further away from any sense of the Godly morality our country was founded on. My question is, how long will God remain patient with a country that is sacrificing children to the god of Self? Galatians 6:7 tells us that “God will not be mocked. Whatever we reap, we will sow.” I am afraid for our nation and I weep for it.

So what are we to do? I have been asking myself this question over the last few days. It isn’t practical for everyone to be camped outside of abortion clinics or attending rallies.

I am realizing that it’s time to take a stand. Many of you are weary, but it’s time for Christians to stop being afraid and start being bold. It’s about preaching Christ and His power to transform lives. God’s arm is not short, but His church is anemic and passive. We are afraid to speak out because we might lose friends or offend family members. We are afraid to post on social media, because we don’t want to rock the boat. Let me tell you something -the boat needs to be turned over! It’s time to get into the battle Christian. It’s time to pray! The enemy is alive and well and is no longer hiding his tactics; he doesn’t need to anymore.

Dr. Martin Luther Kind Jr said “He who passively accepts evil is as much involved as he who helps to perpetrate it. He who accepts evil without protesting against it is really cooperating with it.”

I believe we are at a turning point in our culture. As Christians we know how this all ends, and we are hopeful. But until then, lets take up are armor and finish well.

Lord, help us to see life through your eyes. Help us to take our focus off of ourselves and place it on Your purpose for us. Bring our leaders to repentance and help them to see the wickedness they are perpetrating in our culture. Help us to realize that You have called us to be Your voice here and to use them for Your glory and for Your kingdom. Help us to finish well, Lord. Amen.

We Don’t Have a Gun Problem- We Have a Parent Problem

Once again our nation is wrestling with devastating news, this time out of Texas. Another school shooting. And once again people immediately start demanding more gun control, more legislation, more security measures, more mental-health screenings. All these knee-jerk reactions are common in the wake of a tragedy such as this. But sadly, this type of horrible event is going to happen again. Why? Because we have a generation of parents who have relinquished the responsibility of raising their children to others.

We have a generation of parents who are convinced that their children need more things rather than more of their parents’ time in order to be content—and as a result, we have children who are ungrateful and believe they are entitled to whatever they want.

We have a generation of parents who have been told by a consumer-driven culture that in order to be successful, they need a bigger house, a newer car, and the most up-to-date phones. With that comes larger debt, strained schedules, and two parents working outside the home just to make ends meet.

We have a generation of mothers who are no longer content to stay home and raise their children. They have believed the lie that being a stay-at-home mom is not a noble and fulfilling occupation. As a result, children are farmed out to daycares and public schools, raised by strangers just so parents can pursue equality and self-worth through a career or position.

We have a generation of fathers who have decided it’s ok to leave their families in order to follow their own lusts and desires; all because sometimes family life is hard and the pressure is too much.

We have a generation of parents who are so tired and stressed out that they allow devices to babysit their kids.

We have a generation of parents who insist God be taken out of their everyday lives, but then want to blame Him during times of crisis.

We have a generation of parents who believe their teenagers want nothing to do with them, when the reality is they need them more than ever.

We have a generation of parents who are ignorant of the dangers of social media and the depth of their children’s involvement in it. “All the kids do it,” they say. “It’s no big deal.” Parents fail to see that oftentimes social media becomes an outlet for their kids because it’s somewhat anonymous, a place where our kids don’t have to face reality. Children find belonging and family among strangers rather than the people in their own homes.

We have a generation of parents who are content with the average of thirty-four minutes of meaningful conversation per week they have with their children. Yes, you read that right—thirty-four minutes per week!

 We have a generation of parents who sit in churches all over America being taught that it’s ok to fit in with the culture; that biblical parenting is now old fashioned, irrelevant and offensive.

We have a generation of parents who are overweight, tired, and unhealthy,  who simply do not have the energy to get out of their chairs and engage in activities with their children. Instead, they over-schedule their kids with activities so they don’t have to deal.

We have a generation of drive-through parents who don’t have time to cook meals, sit at the table, and connect with their children.

We have a generation of parents who have bought into the lie that they should be friends with their children instead of parents. Discipline has become abuse, and punishment is seen as an infringement on children’s rights. So children are being raised with no boundaries or limits, and as such, they are unable to handle disappointment or hardship. It’s nonsense!

We have a generation of parents who are so concerned with selfies, status updates, and sports scores that they don’t take the time to look up from their phones on the odd occasion that their children do try to engage them. I’m preaching to the choir here, folks!

Parents, we have to do better. We can no longer push the blame onto guns, schools, organizations, politicians.

Newsflash: our children are our responsibility. It is our responsibility to be intimately involved in their lives. We have to do whatever it takes to connect with them.

If it means downgrading our cars and our houses to lessen our debt, so be it.

If it means saying no to our children’s wants or activities so we can spend more time engaging in conversation as a family, then we need to say no.

If it means sacrificing material desires so Mom can stay home, we have to do it.

If it means pulling our kids out of school to teach them at home, we need to get over ourselves and do it!

If it means turning off our phones and placing them in a drawer so we can’t see them, then we need to turn them off!

If it means looking at your teenagers social media, email and texts, look at it! You pay the bills, don’t you?

We are losing a generation, and it isn’t anything’s or anybody’s fault but ours. Rise up, parents! We need to stop pointing the finger and do our jobs!

Lord, we need You so desperately as we raise our children in this day and age. Help us rise up and take responsibility. Help us put aside our own needs and wants, and live sacrificially for the children You have placed in our care. Forgive us for pointing the finger of blame at others, and help us do whatever it takes to engage with our children—love them, discipline them, and nurture them so they can grow to be the people You designed them to be. Amen.

Raising Kingdom Minded Kids

Parenting is hard. Being responsible for shaping future generations is a huge responsibility and oftentimes feels like an overwhelming task. So many things in our culture pull at our children, and as parents, we find ourselves simply trying to keep our heads above water and do our best.

Through the years I have had many conversations with other parents in regard to raising children, and it seems that we all struggle with the same basic questions: How do we get our children to be good kids when they are growing up in a godless society? How do we keep them in church? How do we get them to read their Bibles and pray? How do we get them to make right choices when they are faced with the pull of this world? How do we get them to walk with God?

The answer is, we don’t.

Now some of you may start preaching the biblical standards for training up a child and quoting the “spare the rod, spoil the child” scripture, but before you do, let me tell you where I’m coming from. I absolutely believe that the discipline and correction of our children is biblical and necessary. When they are young, it is imperative that they learn right from wrong, boundaries, and good manners and receive all the behavioral training that little ones need. I believe we should start teaching these principles early and be consistent with them. I’ve raised four little ones, so I know how it goes. However, once our children get to a certain age, and are able to make moral judgments for themselves, we need to start focusing less on their behavior and more on their hearts. If the hearts of our children are set toward the Lord, then their behavior will follow.

As a mom of teens, at times I find myself trying to control my kids’ decisions, actions, and responses rather than focusing on shaping their hearts. In doing this I encounter resistance and frustration from my children. This is not necessarily because they want to be rebellious, which is what we may naturally think, but because they are learning to walk out their lives independently with the Lord, and I am getting in the way! If our children are going to live in true and lasting relationships with Jesus, we have to step back and let the Holy Spirit convict and teach them—just as He convicts and teaches us. Our kids should not live to please us, their parents; instead they should live to please God. Out of love for Him should flow their obedience, respect, and honor for us.

Now I’m not suggesting that parenting will always be a bed of roses and we will somehow grow perfect children! Will our kids make mistakes? Yes. Will they cop an attitude now and again? Absolutely! Will they get discouraged? Yes. Will they make unwise choices that get them into trouble? Of course. Might they walk away from the Lord for a time? Maybe. But doesn’t this also describe us? There comes a point in time when our role is to disciple our children’s hearts and choices, not dictate their behavior. Our children’s relationship with the Lord is theirs, not ours, and it may look different than what we expected. Their lives may be led in a different way than we desired, and this is where we have to be reminded once again that we are raising arrows in order to release them. The key word is release! An arrow kept in the quiver has no use and will never be effective.

If our children are going to develop solid, real, and lasting relationships with Christ, we have to get out of the way. Our responsibility is to be quiet and allow God to speak so our kids can hear Him. If our children don’t learn to recognize the voice of God when they are young, then they will always be looking to others for direction and will likely be misled.

So instead of telling our children how to live, we need to show them by example. I recently read a quote by author and preacher Charles Spurgeon that says, “Train up a child in the way he should go—but be sure you go that way yourself.” How can we pass on something we don’t possess? Our children will look to us when they are young and become like us as they grow. We can’t expect them to become spiritual giants if we live lives contrary to the one we are telling them they should live.

We should pray with our kids! When they have a question, or when an issue arises in our homes, our responsibility is not to preach at them; we should go with them to the Word; go before the Lord together. We need to let God’s truth speak to their hearts and allow the Holy Spirit to bring change. He is on His own timetable, not ours!

Lord, help us shape our children into that which You have called them to be by getting out of Your way and trusting that You will guide, direct, and speak to them. May we find joy in the relationships our children develop with You. Give us Your grace to walk alongside them day by day! Amen.

Choosing Culture Over Jesus

A couple of days ago, I was browsing Facebook and stumbled upon an interview of Pastor Carl Lentz on The View. The headline was this; Hillsong ‘Pastor’ Folds Under Abortion Question On The View. Of course I clicked on the play button to find out what the story was about. I should be able say that I was surprised by what I heard, but sadly, I wasn’t. This isn’t the first time I’ve heard a so called pastor or church leader choose culture over Jesus. In fact it’s becoming the norm.

When asked very clearly if he thought abortion was a sin, ‘Pastor’ Lentz waffled and dodged. Honestly, it was embarrassing. “Well, I would have to know the situation first”, “God’s the judge, not me” and “I would choose to go higher and get to know the person first”. These were all comments he made as he trampled the Word of God in front of millions.

Mr. Lentz, your response should have been an easy one. How I wish you would have used the platform you had, and said to all those watching, “yes, abortion is a sin. Abortion is murder, and murder is a sin.” That’s an opportunity you are not likely to have again.

Obviously the response to this interview has been mixed. Some say he is relating, he’s loving people where they are. Others say he is a heretic, a false teacher. I happen to believe the latter. However, Carl Lentz is one of many prominent men in our nation that are leading churches down a dangerous and deceptive path. Choosing culture over Jesus.

We are called to love people where they are, we are called to bind up the wounds of the hurting and restore the broken, however we are also called to preach the uncompromising truth of the Word of God. We are called to offer life changing truth, not watered down, palatable niceties.

So, this begs the question, how can we, Jesus’ ambassadors here on earth, love and give compassion, all while calling out sin for what it really is? It amazes me how much time we spend looking at books and blogs, trying to find out how to respond to different situations and circumstances in life. The answers are often times right in front of us if we will take the time to dig in to God’s Word.

In John 4:1-26, we have one of many perfect examples of how to love and yet call out sin in an uncompromising way. In this passage of scripture, Jesus was traveling through Samaria when He came to a well. Upon arriving he noticed a woman there drawing water and asked her for a drink. The fact that she was there in the middle of the day, alone, shows us that she was somewhat of an outcast in her own community. Typically, the women would come in the early mornings and take the time to catch up with each other. So we see that even the culture of the day looked down on this woman. As we read through the story, we notice that Jesus ignored the culture to speak directly to her. He took the time to, engage her and ask about her life. He was kind, but did not hold back in pointing out her sin. In verses 14-16 he calls her out.   ^“He told her, “Go, call your husband and come back.” “I have no husband,” she replied. Jesus said to her, “You are right when you say you have no husband. The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband. What you have just said is quite true” (NIV) Jesus didn’t pull any punches, but His affect on this woman was life changing. She became an evangelist in her own town, bringing many to hear the message of Jesus.

Jesus didn’t offer the Samaritan woman a watered down gospel. He offered her the truth. He calls us to do the same, and shows us exactly how to do it. May we be obedient and follow.,

“Lord, help us as Christians, as the church, to unashamedly speak truth to a world that is so desperate to hear. People need answers, not comfortable ideas. Help us to engage the culture, without conforming to it. Help us to love people enough to not tickle their ears with what they think they want to hear, but to offer them true hope that only comes from you. Amen”

Cease Striving Precious Mom

Motherhood is the greatest job on the planet. It is also the hardest. It is physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually draining.

Motherhood is filled with sadness, joy, triumphs, losses, anger, frustration, laughter and wonder. We oftentimes find ourselves feeling like failures- without purpose.

Motherhood is the most varied, exciting job, but it can also be the most boring, it really depends on the day!

Motherhood is full of crazy days. We deal with tantrums, attitudes, dirty diapers, fingerprinted walls and messy floors. Much of the time we feel frumpy and ugly.

In a nutshell, motherhood is a long journey. It takes you up mountains, through valleys, down the rapids, and sometimes, very occasionally let’s you relax on life’s beach. Regardless of where it takes us, it is one of the most rewarding and gratifying journeys you will ever take. 

God has given mothers a deep, protective instinct that once awakened, never goes back to sleep. We are strong and brave and will do anything to shield our babies. Even so, we sometimes still feel like we are not enough. But I have great news for you- we will never be enough. Doesn’t that kinda take the pressure off?

Unfortunately society has placed women under so much pressure to succeed in the career of motherhood, that we often set the bar too high, and then have a hard time forgiving ourselves when we fail to reach it. If we work outside of the home, we try to justify why it’s necessary. If we stay home with our children we have to prove that we can run our home perfectly, so we can justify not financially contributing to the family. Here’s the real problem; we are allowing society to decide what a good mother looks like, when really we should be looking to Jesus. His list of requirements for us is pretty short. They are:

• To love Him with all of our heart, soul, mind and strength. Deuteronomy 6:5
• To teach our children His ways. Deuteronomy 6:5-11
• To commit our ways to Him. Proverbs 16:3

In return He promises that:

• He will give us rest, peace and wisdom & satisfaction
• We will succeed.

We need rest when times are crazy; we need peace when our nerves are shot; we need wisdom when our children are driving us crazy; and we need to feel satisfied that we are doing well.

I know many of you reading this may relate to the things written here. Outwardly you are successful in keeping up appearances, but inwardly you are crying out for someone to rescue you from the constant demands of your children. You fail to live up to the expectations you have set for yourself. The Lord is saying to you, precious mom, “cease striving, you are not alone.” God’s word is full of wisdom and guidance, knowledge and instruction. If we could only learn to cling to and hold on to His promises, we would see that His requirements are few, and His rewards are many. “Come to me all you (precious moms) who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28)

Lord help us as mothers, to come to You daily. Help us to look upon our children not as projects or pests, but as souls given to us in order that we might raise them in the knowledge of You. Help us to rest in the promise that you are there to carry our burdens and struggles. May we look to You for our value, and not allow society to steal the joy we should have in our children – Amen